New LBS dealing with WW Part 2

[sandi2]

Wow, I'm impressed, Joe. That is an excellent list that describe all the ways of dumping your WW. That sounds terrible when wording it that way, but as long as everyone understands how it is meant, that is the important thing.

I will go back to the "neighbor" approach while I am there

Remember, it's a nosy neighbor that you don't want to hang around and give them information about your personal business. My favorite analogy is how you interact with a store checkout clerk. That sums it up quite nicely, IMHO.

When I am firm with her, I get much less emotional crap back from her.

I use to add that the H should be polite, etc. But then LBH's would let it become such a stumbling block, that I've about stopped suggesting they not act like a jerk. Just kidding, a little bit about the jerk part, but seriously don't get hung up over being all this or that. I'll just say to remain calm, and do not allow her to get you worked up. If she starts threatening, saying anything about being afraid of you, etc.......get the heck out of there. I've heard of too many trumped up charges by WW's. Just don't ever cow down to her! If she knows you are scared, she's beat you.

I don't think it is necessary to tell her anymore about how you are dumping her. Just enforce it, and let her experience it.

I hope you will check here before you make any great big decision, okay? Not that you can't think for yourself, but it's such an emotional uphill for you guys that it is easy to jump ahead of yourself.

I can't remember if it was you that I recently told not to repeat to your WW the things you read on the board. I'm sure it is tempting to most newcomer LBH's, and it probably sounds like a good thing to do at the time. However, she will know that it doesn't sound like "you". It usually comes across as if the LBH is trying to say something impressive to his WW. In which, that's not good. She does not need to see inside your toolbox, which is the DB advice you receive here. Also, make sure she doesn't see your history if computers are shared.

Good job, Joe. Just continue to prepare yourself emotionally for your trip home. Oh, and another tidbit. Stay alert, or else she will catch you unprepared. There have been so many guys who have said, "She caught me with my guard down". Never underestimate a WW and how selfish, low handed or vindictive she can be. Pray that someday she will get her eyes opened and work to find herself again. I pray it will happen for her and her family's sake. I know you are going to be fine, Joe, with or without her. So, start practicing now. ((hugs))