New LBS dealing with WW Part 2

[Zues126]

Boom. Nice post Sandi.

I wanted to add a point about GAL. The main purpose of GAL is not to distract yourself or make WAS curious. The main point is to meet your emotional needs elsewhere.

See, we all have some basic human needs. Companionship. Someone to witness our life. Acceptance. Approval. Admiration. Respect. Purpose. Identity. And so on.

Too often during a M we look to our partner to fill all of these needs. This not only leads to resentment when they can't, but we stop seeing them as a person. We start seeing them as our path to happiness. They have this halo around them, they represent our salvation, we can't imagining living without them. Without them we'd shrivel up and die, right?

Well, when you GAL all of that changes. You start to take charge of your life again. You define your own identity outside of your WAS or your M. You look to others for companionship and support. You join groups that make you feel part of a community, accepted, appreciated. You do things that give you a purpose. You take responsibility for your own happiness and start filling your own cup.

One day you'll look back at your WAS and instead of seeing a magical goddess that has the powers to grant or deny your soul happiness, you'll see something else. You'll see a miserable woman who is acting like a selfish brat. The spell will be
broken.

This is how why GAL leads to detachment. From there it's so easy to just shrug and walk away, to handle the situation the way you would if any other woman on the planet started screaming and spewing at you. Who needs that, right?

Now, if the day comes she calms down and realizes that she's being a brat and wants to have an adult conversation with you, you can listen. But it won't be you trying to convince her to save you. It will be her trying to convince you to give her the time of day.

And if that day never comes, you'll know you did everything possible to save your M by not enabling her waywardness, and you'll be glad you invested your time and energy into taking care of yourself.