Sorry I've not replied in a while...I've been up and down, feeling low and trying hard to put it away for the children's sake. They've noticed I'm low...we spent hours yesterday playing board games and having so much fun.
I'm fighting off depression, I really don't want to go down that road and I know I can beat this if I can drag myself up from this latest bout of insecurity and sadness. It's a mindset, and I need to reach some inner happiness.
I don't understand my H, I probably never will as he refuses to let emotion get the better of him. I think that's a sad state for anyone to live by. But that is his cross to bear. I don't want him upset and feeling the way I do...but nothing seems to penetrate him and his emotions. Not even our children.
He spent one day with them over Christmas...yes they had a great day, but wow...I'm shocked he returned to work the day after Christmas (we call it Boxing Day) and won't return to see them until next Thursday. I know he's busy but that never happened in the past. He aways took a week to two weeks off work at Christmas. Maybe he is more affected by this than I credit him for...or he's now finally free to work and sleep with whomever he chooses.
Truth be told...I will never know.
I would love to take a holiday break, but its just not on the cards for me at the moment. I will have to save my money. But I will keep your offer in mind, thank you so much.
I hope you're well and had a lovely time with your daughter.
Me 50 H 48 S 23 S 21 D 19 Together 31 years Married 25 years Separated April 2009 Reconciled 2010 Separated September 2017
