Contradictions are what MLC is all about. One minute they think and say things one way and the next it's totally different.
As for him being unhappy, I'm not surprised that he is saying he was unhappy for years. They rewrite history and this is the depression talking loud and clear and it is all part of the MLC lingo. Don't drink the Kool Aid he is serving up. If he had been that miserable, you would have been aware of it. If he had been that miserable, he should have spoken up. No! It's the MLC/depression talking.
As for the OW, if it had not been her, it would have been someone else. When they are in MLC, they are ripe for anyone that will give them attention and stroke their egos. They want someone who will devote attention on them, listen to their BS and be fun w/o responsibilities and the one major thing...generally the OW has no clue about what really went on in the marriage between the two of you.
Try to limit your contact w/him. The pull for the OW is very strong and time will tell if he will move to where she is. You don't want to be Plan B. You want to be Plan A, the prize.
Please take some time and travel around the forum. You will find that your h is doing and saying many of the same things that the others have described in their postings. Reading other threads will help you better understand what is happening and may even provide you some guidance on how to detach a bit more and react to his MLC lingo and behavior.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
