I am glad you arrived safe in sound in Cali. Overall, from your posting, it sounds like it was a nice Christmas for you and your family.

As for your xh and his negative memories...he'll have them for a while and hopefully as he heals, the good memories will begin to rise to the top of his soul and memory once again. Yes, there is still a whole lot of good inside this man...he just has to have time and space to work through the mess.

Happy New Year!

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.