Have you read "tough love". You need tough love with your W, sister and BIL. You need to create a conflict. You need to approach this situation head on. You need to go to this party call your W, your sister and BIL in a room and let them have it You are trying to 180 a situation that needs to be broken apart.
I'm confused how you driving your W and kids and dropping them off at your sister and BIL house and leaving is any different then not taking them at all.
Your W is not respecting you. Do you think spending time with your family in this capacity is gaining you any respect from your W.
When your W was making those complaints about you not spending time with the family, was that before or after the A started?
You need to get your respect back worry about your kids then worry about spending time as a family. I don't understand why the coaches are telling you to just keeping going along witb whats currently going on.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.