Awkward Situation Got Much Worse (part 4 )

[Tate]

Trust me, I understand what the consensus is on this forum. I am not trying to do what is easy, but I want desperately to do what is best, no matter how hard.

So why not follow exactly what you all are advising me to do on this forum...two reasons: it is contradictory to what tge coaches are advising, and it often means doing more of the same for my W.

The coaches advise to do everything I can as a family...problem is my W insists on constantly visiting my family. If I do not attend, my W will go anyway. Then, I am doing my own thing...a complaint my W had of me as I historically stayed home often to get work done around the house. My W is more than happy to travel without me...so me excluding myself is exactly what she wants...to be away from me and with our kids. So how does this help me?

I am not trying to pursue my wife, but not pursuing is exactly what she wants.

New case...my W is out of town for final burial of her grandmother. My W and kids want to attend new years party at my other sisters house...my BIL will be there. My Wifes flight will land new years eve, and she wants me to take kids and meet her at the party. If I do not, she will pick the kids up and go anyway, and I spend new years eve without my kids. My W sees this as me not spending time with our family...more of the same, I do not see my kids, and my W is with my BIL anyway. Solution?



To continue...
The coaches advise to be easy to live with, spend time as a family, and do what is reasonable chore and project wise.

Me not attending family events only takes time with my kids away...I cannot stop my W from attending, so then I do not see my kids or my family. My sister is not going to ask her husband to stop attending family events...my BIL says he wants to work on their marriage.

Brainstorming here, but yes, my sister has the most leverage...she can tell her husband, my BIL, to start showing her text and phone records and enforce no communication with my W. I cannot enforce this with my W because she does not care if our marriage continues.

I guess it might have to come fown to my whole family knowing what is going on...then my W will be excluded from my family gatherings. This mass sharing of the affairs goes against everything the DB program and coaches advise...



To answer a couple questions...my kids are 11, 9, 7.

Yes, I am mad my sister keeps inviting my W to her events...I asked her not to, but she continues.