It sounds like your wife wasn't allowed to finish up the first round of her MLC. She needs to complete the entire process and hopefully, come out the other side a healed, mature woman. People interfering won't help...it just prolongs the process.
I would probably say that she's in a mix of replay and depression. They do tend to stay in their holes. Withdrawal is when she withdraws from a lot of the things she normally would be doing, i.e., lack of communication w/friends/family, not going out and doing things, not exercising, etc. She's not hit the very dark, deep depression yet. MLC's main ingredient is depression. Depression is about the past and anxiety is about the future.
My advice...don't ask her if she still wants a divorce...leave her be. Give her as much space and time as possible. She can't miss you if you are reminding her that you are there. If she brings up the relationship/divorce, just be honest and tell her that you need time to adjust to things and will let her know when you are ready to discuss it.
For now, keep the focus on you and your kids. Leave her to figure things out.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
