I believe my W is in the second cycle of her midlife crisis, which would be about four years after BD1. I thought she had made it through the first cycle. She was open to MC that time, with pressure from her family, and after 13 weeks of MC it seemed we were on our way to being happy together. BD 2 occurred in October. I tried to reason, which just seemed natural to me at the time but now know it probably pushed her further away. She had privately met with an attorney to plan divorce prior to BD 2. She was deadset on divorce after BD 2, taking every chance to remind me that she doesn’t love me and that I need to let her go. She hasn’t mentioned divorce I would say the last two weeks. The law here is that we have to be separated for 12 months until divorce can be filed. Prior to BD 2 things I thought were going well. We were having amazing sex once a week and no huge arguments. After BD 2 and during my attempts at reasoning with her, the kitchen sink was thrown at me and arguments spanning our entire relationship were used against me. Says she’s been “pretending” for a long time and that we should have split a long time ago. She’s not open to MC this time saying it would be a waste of time. She moved out a few weeks ago and takes the kids on the weekends. I’ve been focusing on myself and the kids, and have not discussed our relationship unless she brings it up. She still spends a lot of time at the house with the entire family, but if I were to ask her whether she still wanted a divorce, I am sure the answer would be ‘yes’.
Any thoughts as to what stage she might be in? The day she moved out she shared with me that she was crying all day. Would this qualify as depression, or would it need to be over a longer period? She hasn’t been sleeping well and constantly taking naps. This could be due though to the amount of exercise she does. Prior to BD 1 she lost 100+ lbs. and has kept up a pretty strenuous exercise routine. My guess is that she’s spending time alone at her apartment as well. Maybe a sign of withdrawal?
