I am so sorry that she's still wanting to talk about the situation. Yes, she's showing some remorse, but her words and actions aren't matching up. Lip service will not fix what is broken within her.
You've advised her a number of times about your feelings on open marriage. May I suggest that you say something like this next time: "w, I have told you several times how I feel about open marriage and I will not discuss it again." I think your wife is hoping that by badgering you about things, you'll break down and say it's okay. There is no need to rehash this topic as it is a moot point.
I think that once you are in your own place, you'll feel much better and you won't have to deal w/her nonsense 24/7. You'll come to realize how much stress you were under living under the same roof and you will be able to see things a bit more clearly.
Gordie, I hope you find an apartment very soon. You need your own space to heal.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
