Joe....it took me about 1.5 months before I felt like a person and could reasonabley function. I cried every day, called my mom every morning and night to and from work. Took two weeks of vacation and couldn't even talk to anyone about the sitch and not break down crying. Say this to also say I never showed this in front of her. I never begged or pleaded but the three weeks after BD and she moved out I did ask her a ton of questions that really in the end only pissed her off and made her want to get further away.
Our finances are split as well and she pays her own phone bill. The only thing I have not done is hire an attorney. I never initiate contact with my W and really only respond about kids or money but in the past few weeks I have loosen up with that some because now she is more engaging with me and joking around. I still keep it light though and never initiate heavy conversation.
You just have to give it time. It's kind of like a mexican stand off. I once read from an old vet that the people who try the hardest to save their MR never succeed and those that don't try have the most success. You have to let go and not read into those messages. Early on my W would text me pictures of her and the girls. I never figured out why and I racked my brain thinking it was a sign. They eventually stopped and I can only assume she was going through the same adjustment period. It is not easy on her as well and while she may never show it to you just know she is struggling as well.
It does get better with time and distance but you must show patience, restraint and get a hold of your emotions. Controlling your emotions is one sign of a confident man. It will take her a while to notice your changes and not feel that you have done it to win her back. Detaching is a process and it just doesn't occur overnight.
