Wife wont admit to affair and its driving me nuts!

[Morbo]

IMHO, they should know that you are the offended spouse, and that you were very hurt and extremely disappointed by your W.

Yes, Sandi, they'll know. I'll be vague although I told my mom a few months back about W's relationship with boss. Even she thought it was weird.
The best thing they can see is their son doing well right now and their grand-daughters healthy and happy.

Met W at my house today after her work. She was taking girls as I have work tonight. Our relationship has changed to a new less stressful holding pattern and I'm doing well. Have made NC for 2 days and she emailed me today twice but just about the girls and school. I was pleasant and to the point in my replies.
We've gone from arguing and her screaming at me a week ago via text/email to this situation where she is very polite and its very businesslike. She still is the one that initiates hugs but they're pretty meaningless and just friendly. Before I would have been reading into everything she was doing, the way she talked, looked at me, hugged me. NC and detachment is working for ME. Helping me regain self control and confidence.

I find it beneficial to build myself up to our meetings now.
I think of her lies, her affairs and what she's done and then its much easier. I have been nicer, less hostile but distant.

Onwards and upwards. :-)