For me it just re-enforces that there are things out of our control working against us. Own your $hit but for many of us it was just a matter of time before something happened especially if the communication is lacking. I never considered myself a bad husband, maybe naive in the love languages and nuiances of MR but never a bad husband.
Back then I did not take my W's nagging very seriously and she could have been more clear about how much what she was nagging about effected her. I on the other hand should have took her nagging more seriously and realized it was her way of trying to communicate with me.
I never cheated on my W, hit her, verbally abused her, gave her ultimatims, I never controlled her with sex, money. She pretty much got to do what she wanted when she wanted. I helped with the kids, took them to school, would pick them up from school, attended their practices, games, etc. I was never out late at the bars, kept her informed of when I was going to be home, if I was running late, etc. I paid all the bills, made sure we were never over extended, etc. I worked out, played basketball 3 days a week and would other guys out occassionaly for a few beers after work. She told me I was her rock and the best sex she had ever had but yet here I am.
Unfortunately the last year of our MR I was depressed due to a job change and it was impacting my W more than I realized. On the other hand though it really pisses me off when I think about it because she should have been there to support me but because of her own issues was unable to do so. After taking the love goggles off I realize that to my W our kids came first, she came 2nd and I got whatever scraps where leftover.
IMO things that are described in the article are very common. We had just got to the point to where things were settling down with the kids, building up our savings, retirement, was planning our next family vacation and she decided to blow it all up. I guess she wasn't ready to settle down just quite yet.
The one thing I do regret is not doing things for ourselves as a couple. I wish we would have done more of that. Unfortunately it was something that she never really pushed and when I would say let's go do this usually she just wanted to stay home and zone out in front of the TV. Even when my parents would come to town for a few days she really never wanted to take advantage of then being here.
Truthfully she has probably been depressed for a long period of time and this move she made is an attempt to find her happiness.
