Gordie #15: closing the cake shop

[AndrewP]

CaliGuy - I beg to disagree. In my marriage my STBX used sex quite blatantly to "bind" me to her and from the other things that Gordie has written about her ramping up the ILY etc as he pulls away it seems to me (from the outside) that she's bringing every tool in her arsenal to bear, especially those that she's known to have worked in the past. My STBX was a pro at knowing what buttons to push and when they stopped working she got really confused.

Things are not going the way she wants them to and Gordie isn't following along to the fairy songs that are playing in her head.

In other things I've read, there are a few channels that will be used by a controlling person to manipulate their spouse. Charm, Rage, and Self-Pity. He's been fortunate in not seeing Rage.

Just like in my situation, when she thinks everything is going her way, she is happy as a clam and you could almost think that she's coming around.

Keep the defenses up Gordie. She'll undoubtedly either ramp things up or try another channel. I was going to post this as a joke but changed my mind. I just have a weird feeling. Make sure you stay safe and that you minimize the opportunities to be alone with her and when you are, keep your phone handy and see if you can find a voice-recorder app that is easy to use. Also - see what you can do to protect your finances if you haven't already. Perhaps see if you can adjust joint accounts so that they require two signatures to pull funds over X dollars. My bank offered to do that for me. I said no and almost exactly a year ago much of the savings account vanished and she went on an expensive Caribbean vacation with her guy.