Wife wont admit to affair and its driving me nuts!

[Morbo]

Hi Vapo, thanks for that.

1. Yes, she is having an affair.

Yeah, I've accepted that it is the case, finally.
100% of posters here agree with you.
I kinda knew for going on a year now but I trusted my wife implicitly as she lied to my face. Now I know, its a kind of relief. I'm not the complete piece of crap I thought I was, I blamed myself for everything but I'm glad that I really, really tried to make things better over the last year but she was long gone.

2. The true greatness achieved is when no [censored] are given. It takes time. It took me more than a year and a half. I am a slow learner though. smile

Yep, getting there. Took my wedding ring off 2 weeks ago. In my mind its over, what she has done and continues to do saddens me but it doesnt hurt the way it used to do. I'm detaching from even imagining her and OM together.
Not initiating any conversation, texts, emails etc
Just keeping it to organizing kids schedules.

6. Become the best friggin dad ever! Spend time with the kids, teach them stuff, take them places...

That is the best thing that has come out of all this. We are having an absolute blast. I have them for 2 weeks during the days and 3-4 nights a week. They way prefer being with me(I know its not a competition) but its the truth. They just watch TV there. We're going for long cycles, playing sports, board games, hanging out with friends, watching old movies together.

A few notes now that my fog has been lifted.

I'm really starting to see her bad points, how she made me feel in the relationship.
She disempowered me as I couldnt parent the girls the way I wanted.
I am doing it now and the results are really showing. I'm strict but loving. I dont let them get away with much and we spend way less time on devices and TV in general.
I'm good with money but she just ridiculed me when I said that we should take it easy with holidays and buying new cars etc.
We now have huge amounts of credit card and car payments that didnt need to happen and was a source of stress.
I'm already getting my own cards down to a manageable level but I know she is all over the place with her finances.

I was driving with the girls and we were talking nonchalantly
about possible divorce. They were asking me questions. I said nothing would change that much, we are in separate houses anyway, we both love them. We have an easy going 50/50 parenting split.
Divorce no longer scares me, we're definitely on that road although I'm the only one who has brought it up seriously.

I do wonder whats going on in W 's head since I've completely checked out. Is she going to move in with OM? Are my girls going to be officially introduced to him? Is she THAT serious about him after all now that she's lost me?
I know exactly my plans for the next few months but I wonder what she's going to do? Its interesting.. hmmm

One last question for you DB'ers.
I have told 2 close male friends that I'm sure W is having an affair.
They were not surprised. I also told my closest sibling but I said not for her to tell anyone.
Sooo, my mom and dad are coming over to the US for a 5 week holiday and staying with me. They're elderly and I dont want to upset them too much but I know they'll be asking questions.
I'm at the point now where I dont feel the need to tell anybody anymore but I think I should let them know that I'm dissapointed in my W and leave it at that and they can make their own assumptions?

Its going to be kinda tricky because they're probably going to spend a few days with my W's parents. They all get on great.
I particularly love my father in law and miss seeing him. He even said 6 months ago that he hated my W's job and that it had changed her. His own wife cheated on him so I'm sure he knew the signs.

Anyway, back to my girls.
Have a great day everyone!