It seems as simple as there's no one else to fill the void at the moment. Your husband had a special place and role in your life for over two decades. Even with his imperfections he was a source of stability and you two raised three kids together. It's not easy to detach from that. Can you expedite a vacation for yourself to any place? A change of scenery might be a good way to cope right now. I live in the Sunshine State (at least for the next few months). If you happen to come here I could show you around. I had a massage today with a lady from the UK by the way!
