So, I think you need to come to terms that you will probably be required to do something unpleasant.....even at the risk of being labeled the bad guy.
Pew,
It's time to do the bean thing. Eat lots and lots of beans all day long. At bedtime, hop in your bed and let a nasty one escape under the covers. When your wife starts to get into bed you say, "I'm having some gastrointestinal distress and I think I might mess-up the bed in my sleep tonight." Then, rollover and go to sleep.
