Your wife had three affairs. No matter what her excuses, after three affairs this is on HER. (Or is it four now?) A healthy person in an unhappy marriage tries to fix the marriage, then if that doesn't work, separates and THEN dates. So she has a character issue.
Second - nonetheless, if you have a drinking problem, you can't ignore your own role in the marriage breakdown. Focus on dealing with your drinking, your kids need and deserve a healthy sober dad.
Third - if you haven't seen a doctor about vomiting blood, do so NOW. This is never an innocent symptom. If you're lucky it's just bleeding ulcers - but if so, you need to be checked for h. pylori and treated appropriately. If you're unlucky it could be esophageal varies due to chronic liver damage - very dangerous. Gastric cancer is a rarer but even more serious cause. See your doctor.
Fourth - see an attorney now to learn your rights and formulate a game plan. Document everything including how often WAS sees kids and keep a copy of any texts or emails she sends. Do not say ANYTHING to her that would look bad in divorce court.
Fifth - I'm sorry her affair has been confirmed. I know how badly that hurts - but rest assured, this does not have to be a tragedy. You may be happier in the long run. And although I hate to see a marriage break up because of the kids, I found out later that between my ex's affair and his subsequent departure years later after several years of reconciliation - that my kids had always been waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Here's to a better New Year. Keep being a rock for your kids.
