Yes maybe I worded that wrongly, but I do believe if you let them feel they are no longer your top priority, it takes the pressure off them and they may begin to relax. That is what I feel Nicole should be doing. Concentrating on herself and her daughter, then maybe she will be able to detach.
And I certainly don't see it as a game. You detach to the point that yes, you may still love them but you know you'll be absolutely fine whether they return or not. You detach so that they know their treatment of you is no longer needed or wanted...
A few months ago I did tell my H I still loved him...it sent him running. Last week I apologised for how our marriage ended, I was and am sorry I hurt him but I couldn't see any other avenue to go down. Maybe if I'd been getting counselling I would have done it better. Anyway, it yet again put him off. It was pursuit in his eyes.
He knows where I stand. How I feel. But I will no longer tell him or engage him in any R conversation at all. But I don't ever get to see him or talk to him. I can't see how he will ever see my changes...how will he see I'm a person only a fool will leave.
Me 50 H 48 S 23 S 21 D 19 Together 31 years Married 25 years Separated April 2009 Reconciled 2010 Separated September 2017
