Thank you for the support and holiday sentiments, Job, Pinn, Own, and Coly. Appreciate you all!
So, it's morning time where I live and I'm sitting around enjoying my coffee with mom's homemade Christmas cookies. This is probably one of my favorite rituals during the holiday season. I just feel so relaxed... Got my pup snuggled up next to me. Life is really good.
The third christmas without ex was a success. He barely popped into my mind all day. I had such a great, fun, festive day yesterday and I wondered if he even would miss this sort of thing. That was the only time I thought of him.
so, here on the DB boards, we often hear that MLCers have narcissistic tendencies. I've seen this a ton in my ex especially throughout the d process. While I don't feel comfortable diagnosing my ex with any condition (other than MLC), I thought I would do some research on the aspect of divorcing someone with narcissism.
Needless to say, there is a ton of research out there on the subject! I'm shocked (and yet not shocked at all).
Pretty crazy how the studies have outlined the EXACT same things I'm going through in my D. The manipulation, psychological warfare, the deceit with funds. Wow! Just like there's an MLC script, there's a script for the narcissist's behavior during a divorce as well. His behavior has literally checked all the boxes.
This discovery (I've been reading on the subject for just over a week) has actually helped me. At my core, I'm not OK being the bad guy. And all this reading helps to reassure me that I'm doing the right thing. I'm not a bad guy, and no matter what, he is going to blame me and play victim.... No matter what.
The crazy way they learn to manipulate the legal system is what gets me because that's where I'm at right now. I swear, it's like these psychologists have been following me around the last year. So spot on.
It's just weird to me that 2.5 years ago, I started reading on the board... At the time I was so in love with my ex still. The agony of being discarded and stomped on was almost too much to endure, but I was committed to saving my marriage because I thought it was worth it and we could work out our differences with some effort. But now, this kind of feels like my divorce, I need to be freed of this man. I must. For my own sanity.
Anyway, it was weird to stumble on the research, but it was nice to get some validation of what has been going on the last year.
Hmmm. Back to Christmas cookies and pup snuggles, because that's what is important right now.
