Of course you are heart broken, it's betrayal of a hurtful kind. There is a little piece of me still broken after 3 and a half years.
Who knows why they do the things they do, the G still stalks me and FB and goes by the house. I gave up long ago trying to work it out, ceased to be worth it in any way. Scrambled eggs for brains.
There does come a day when at the end of it you realise you hadn't thought about it. Then comes a time of whatever......
You are very special, someone so capable of love and care. In many ways that's why you hurt, because you can.
You still 'feel' you want her back, that's not a feeling but a desire. Desires are choices. I suspect what you want is the idea of R in its best way with WW. That will change, when your desire for the best for you is greater than the longing.
At the point when you know the idea would never be reality as things have changed too much. When you detach and let go. Likely there will be a spellbreaker, a small or large incident which wakes you from your dream. Then you will never go back to the dream or idea of the old.
In the meanwhile it's ok.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
