Hoosjim's 9th: WW, A ended(?); "All-in" or not?

[hoosjim]

Ugh! Why do you do this to us........just drop a hint at something and then walk away without telling us what happened?

Im trying not to spin too much or get too caught up in exactly what she is doing. Or to try to explain because then i get caught up in explaining away. Suffice it to say she was somewhere she shouldn't normally have been-- at her office, and I found out completely inadvertently. Now it turns out she had a reason to be in the area (buying something for me... she gave it to me today as a gift) though not actually at her office per se, and she did not, as she normally does when she goes in there on a weekend, tell me she was going in. Of course, there are half a dozen good reasons she could have gone in there... and about a half a dozen "Bad" ones as well. It disturbs me that she did not tell me she was going in there. Not that i expect her to report all her movements but... she has been VERY good about keeping me apprised of her whereabouts (even when she goes, as she did two weeks ago with the store next to OM's hangout) to places where I might not be happy she is going.

Ah well, it is all part of the same dynamic-- her not being committed to doing this and doing it right. It'll all get brought to a head after the new year. Leaving tomorrow to go visit each of our families for a few days... two different states, over 1200 miles of total driving.

Also, Christmas Day did not go particularly well. One of my 180s is to be up and going early in the morning, no matter what, and one of her "Bad" memories of me is sleeping in late especially on weekends until half the day is gone and it's too late to do anything with the day. Also her "Holiday blues" that none of the holidays ever end up special. Well, last night, fell asleep downstairs on sofa-- both of us, actually, though on opposite ends of the L-sectional. No alarm and we were up a bit late talking after going to dinner with the kids (which was very nice... and went driving around looking at tacky house lights afterwards at her request-- also fun), so I didn't wake up. Until 1030! Same with my boys-- S19 has been in a sleep coma since coming back from college (he is in a very rigorous engineering program) and S17 apparently stayed up later than he should have on his phone, so they both overslept too. W was up at 7:30. Made breakfast, tried to get boys up, but they weren't budging. Me she didn't disturb either. Once i got up I could tell she was upset... for all the old and obvious reasons. We didn't talk about it much (though I took responsibility and apologized) and she softened up later but... not a good start to the day at all.

Ah well...