Husband gone for second time - new here

[Sotto]

Hi Nicole, I'm sorry you have been finding things so tough. The holidays aren't easy and I can remember being very glad to see January in that first year after BD.

That was a harsh response from your H and I'm sorry you had to experience that when you were seeking advice and support. It doesn't sound as though he has that to offer just now. Sometimes people post here about 'broken empathy chips' and what you posted reminded me of that phrase.

It would be best (I think) if you only see him as a support option when it comes to parenting matters. In these you will remain co-joined. But in all other aspects, I would seek support from elsewhere and not bring him into your confidence. Can you start to see him as a rather distant colleague? Someone who you are not that keen on, but are polite enough to?

Also, if you are experiencing such high anxiety, you may want to think about seeking some more support for yourself too. I saw a therapist for a while after BD and it did help. I also went to a divorce care group (at a point when I very much wanted to save my M) and that helped a lot too. Get yourself what you need to get through this intact - survive, cope, thrive..

I hope you'll be feeling much, much better soon Sweetie xx