I am only a little bit aware of your situation. Was your ex an alcoholic?
I know this is gonna sound a bit weird....not to know or be able to say for definite but I think so.
He definitely admitted that he had a problem with alcohol (January 2015), but refused to do anything about it.
I'm not quite sure if it's my preconception/prejudice of what an alcoholic is that stopped me from seeing or thinking about it while we were M. I've done some reading since October 2015, and a lot of things around his alcohol consumption are starting to make sense.
And also just being away from him, I'm starting to see just how distorted his relationship with alcohol was/is.
Then, of course, for every problem drinker/alcoholic, there is someone who accepts and enables that behaviour...which isn't a pretty thought. I've delved into that as well, and acknowledged (at least to myself) the part I played in it all.
Or maybe he was just drinking so much because he couldn't articulate his feelings (the difficult, negative ones at least) and felt trapped. And maybe now that he's out of it all, his alcohol consumption is 'normal' again. Who knows? And am I even worried any more, as it doesn't affect me now *sigh*
Originally Posted By: JujuB
I struggle with accepting that things are not fair in life. Watchimg the news, reading about historical events always leaves me teary eyed or angry. Having to discuss the unfair and cruel way people treat each other to my son is especially challenging (he was recently asking me about world war II. )
Betrayal from a loved one is different but also hard to deal with. We know that the world is cruel and unfair but expect differently from the people we grew up with, committed to, and in some cases had children with. Our guards were let down so it hurts even more.
I know there is the belief that to be happy you have to detach from everything and live in the present. Kids and anaimals seem to have that gift. I certainly do not. But for those that do, it seems to relieve them of suffering.
It's so hard not to feel the weight of your expectations and/or hopes pressing down on things though...constantly, about so many things.
I've struggled in the past with really bad anxiety and a lot of fear (it affected my physical health). But I can see now what a waste of energy and time that was. Well, I mean, that energy and time would have been better spent building myself up.
On the plus side, I did learn a lot about how your body works and different mental states, so silver linings and all that...
