Now what?

[Bird]

Thank you, Job and Vanilla. It's been an awful day. D13 has been on a tear. The three of us were supposed to each pitch in to pick up the house quickly so that we'd have the whole day to laze about and watch Christmas shows. D11 and I ran out to Carvel because they wanted an ice cream Christmas cake and D13 wanted to stay home. I asked her to do her chores while we were gone. Not only did she not do her chores, she elected to give the cat a bath. I don't think I have to describe the state of the bathroom when I got home. It was AWFUL. Meltdown city. I screamed, cried, ranted and raved, it was terrible. She just glares at me. She's been awful all day, doing her best to hit every button. It's so frustrating when I have been breaking my back trying to keep things as good for them as possible and be both parents since their father is living the life of Reilley now. The therapist said I will get the brunt of it because he provides no structure. It's currently 11pm here, and I'm waiting for her to settle down in her room and go to sleep so "Santa" can get all of the presents out, wolf down the cookies and milk, chomp on the reindeer fill all the stockings, hide the Christmas pickle and write them a letter. (The fact that they are 11 and 13 does not escape me, but I feel like more than ever this year, it's important to keep the magic going.) First year doing 100% of it myself, instead of 75% (ha). I wonder if their father is at home realizing for the first time in their lives he didn't write them a letter from Santa. Or maybe he did. Who knows. All I know is this holiday season used to be so magical for me... now it's just exhausting. I'm tired of doing it all alone. Props to single parents everywhere.

This turned into a Christmas vent. It's been a pretty rough day. I appreciate having this board to vent some of my issues out. I hope tomorrow is a better day. I think I will nap while they're gone.