Hi all, just an update. Life is good. I never thought i would post that !! Kids are ready for Xmas and tree is flashing away , fire is lit and im relaxing.
S22 is still working for me. S19 is loving college. D16 and D13 got A's and B's in November tests so all good there.
The company is doing well , i upgraded to a newer RR and bought the superbike of my dreams in the summer. So again all good there.
I started dating about a year and a half ago and that was a real experience!!!! Got on well with most ladies but no real spark. It was fun but then i met a really nice , funny , gorgoues lady about 8 months ago who i still with. We are getting on well. She met my sons after about 3 months but i thought is best to give it atleast 6 months for the girls. They have now met and get on really well.
Exw and I have not spoken for about a year now and only D13 keeps in touch with her. They see each other for about 3 hours a week.
It was a very tough time after BD but i can say that i am now happier.
The big lesson i have taken from this is to live your Life, be genuine and be the best you that you can be. In my case i have plenty of faults, and not ones like ' im too kind to others ' or the like, short tempered , grumpy , etc are much more like it BUT i do my best to recognise my faults and change.
This site and some of its members helped me through the heartache and trauma. My advice to others is to accept what is. You didn't ask for this BUT you can deal with it and get through it. We deserve to be happy and its ours to give ourselves.
Anyway , that's the update ( and motivational speech!!!) Happy Xmas to everyone on here, enjoy and 2018 is a new year and as we know , life can change very quickly.
Very wise advice and thank you for sharing. You've come a long way and I hope that you will stick around in the new year to offer sage advice to the posters.
Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Great to see an update from you RD - so pleased to hear that things are going well for you and your kids - and that there is a special lady in your life too.
I have never forgotten your kindness to me and just want to send warm Christmas wishes to you.
Relax and enjoy the festive season & I too hope you'll stick around with some wise advice for others..
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi Sotto, i think we can say we helped each other !!!. Your one of the strongest ladies ive ever come accross and i know it wasn't easy for you but you kept at your GAL and showed us all by example on the way through this. You didn't always see your strength but it was clear to others. Your exh had it all with you in his life but he chose a different path and truly, his huge loss.
Thabk you for being a great friend, have a great Xmas and a fantastic new year, you deserve nothing less.
hi Rd, merry Christmas and happy new year to you and your family. I say family because they are and will ever be your family. Your XW is on the outs.. her loss.
on a personal note. thank you for being the first one to guide me here (besides Cadets reading material :-) ) . It will be always part of my growth I gained from this site. i thank you
Irish
M51 XW43 (38 at bd) BD1 MAY 30 2015 BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text moved out Aug 2 2015 left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20) Her divorce Final July 26 2016 Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
Happy New Year lovely RD. I hope 2018 is a great year for you (I sense it will be!)
I can't reconcile being out of touch with three of your kids. Wouldn't that make you sit up and wonder how your life went so wrong??
I love to read your stories about family life - always very heartwarming and hilarious that your kids get a grade A in laziness. I think SS's mum would probably say the same of him..
Thanks so much for sharing your near miss story on my thread. It truly helped and whilst I wish you hadn't experienced that, it does remind me that we are all human and we do make mistakes. I'm so glad he was okay.
Very best wishes to you xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Glad to hear that you're dating and doing well. Sad though that your W has thrown you away for what? Some scummy lowlife who she doesn't even like and giving away the connection with your kids. I'm with Sotto here - how do you process that in your mind and think 'well, that was a good idea'. Truly bizarre.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Hi Sotto and Huddy , we all had a good Xmas. Still up at 6.30am and my youngest is 13 !!!lots of pressies and laughs. I got them all onesies so S22 was superman, S19 batman, D16 was a giraffe and D13 a penguin. GF came over for Xmas dinner and all was right in the world.
Sotto, you are being to hard on yourself re your mum. Things happen and we cannot control everything.
Huddy , we cannot understand the WAS thinking so i dont try. My exw was a caring mum but do we ever know anyone but ourselves? The choices people make are theirs, we can have our opinions on them but we need to let them live their lives as they decide. When their choices effect us we must deal with it but move forward. I like to think thats what i have done. It certainly wasn't easy but I'm at a place where i dont get affected by exw no matter if the news is good or bad and i keep my life away from exw.
I have been to solicitor and i have another 12 months to wait for D. Good news is I'm in a good place legally re all the finances.
