Just a Vanilla Change 35

[Vanilla]

Surfer than you for the update, I had been concerned for you and the children when I noticed the rage pattern in you STBEX WW. It doesn't show often on the board but when those shining moments arise it's really frightening for all.

I think all you can do is get clear, and outhe of harms way. These types of rages (including thrashing) are easy to deny and they are dangerous because of low impulse control.

The G rages, in fact I went back and observed my posts from 2015 and read how dangerous it was. I didn't want to see it or accept it. In fact I wrote I felt that contempt wasn't a boundary for me. Something picked up by Sandi, Edz and Jim. The wonderful perceptive greengrass was my guide in those dark days and helped me through it. I doubt I would be here now if I hadn't had that insight.

I thought it was me and I deserved it.

I have studied this in great depth and taken abuse counsellor exams, now I am taking the legal ones too. Knowledge helps a great deal in finding strategies to cope.

Getting out of the way, going NC (I am a complete master at NC and the ways to accomplish it), having been silent NC for periods.

I notice the pattern Surfer, break NC and let the abuser back in and peace of mind goes. That's what happens, gets you every time, I recollect your spell break which was a dramatic shining moment of WW rage and venom. It frightened me for you and your children. I confess to fear on your behalf.

It is a great relief to me to know that you are well and healing even if there was a wobble. It happens, indeed this year's D fin hearing was very frightening for me. It cost me but I fought him through the courts.

I have similar fears for Rednail. Hers was the most frightening situation ever on this board for me anyway. Yours counts up there too. When I say dodged a bullet, I mean literally. You and I have been lucky to get away, others might not be.

Thank you for the update. Stay protected and for your children as much as you can.

V