If she is indeed having an affair thats fine. If she told me a year ago or 6 months ago that she loves him and wants to be with him thats ok too, I mean it..
I dont want to be with her, she's not the woman I married. I dont love her anymore.
If it's fine for her to have an affair and you don't love her........then what's the problem?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!