Happy Belated Birthday to your daughter. I'm sure you ladies spent a wonderful day together to celebrate her special day. I am also glad to read that your h still wanted to spend time w/her. I imagine it's a bit strained in their communications these days as your daughter is continuing to move forward w/her life.
Coly, don't beat yourself up...you are doing the best you can w/a difficult situation. I think you did well when he came around. It's difficult trying to be something you aren't, but sometimes we had to change tactics to get them to realize that life isn't going to sit still while they are orbiting the earth.
I'm sure he was puzzled that you gave him his gift a bit early...maybe it will give him something to think about. Don't over think the issue of him coming over Christmas morning. I think I would discuss it w/your daughter and if she says she doesn't want him there, then you have your answer. If she says it's okay, then you'll know what to say if he should ask. If you opt to invite him over, just do it for the gift opening only. He doesn't need to be there over night...it's not like your daughter is a little girl...she's 17 and a grown woman.
Coly, just remember to breathe! Everything will fall into place if you don't try to over think it.
In case you don't return to post before the holiday, I want to wish you and your daughter a very Merry Christmas and may you both enjoy the holidays.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
