Hello everyone, I hope you are all enjoying the festivities!
We all know this time of the year is hard on us and our kids but the resourceful side of us kicks in to make the best we can out of it. I know we all have it in us to (as we have had a lot of practice!) put a smile on our face and just push through. This time last year I was a ball of mess doing whatever H wanted me to, like a puppet on a string. But I soon realised this was only for his benefit so he could get to spend time with D. Not for her's and not for mine.
D turned 17 this week! Her and H had a few texts about when she would be around on her birthday for H to drop presents off. He did ask if she wanted to go out to lunch but D did not want to spend time with him on his own when I had taken time off work to be with her. I managed to help out and told him when we would be around as the communication between them was not productive! He was very grateful that I let him know when we were around because otherwise he was planning on leaving her presents in the stupid recycling bin! I am going to our a stop to him doing that again!!
Anyway he came in and I offered him a cup of tea and mince pie and he stayed for a bit. I tired not to talk much (which if you knew me is very difficult!) but he kept engaging me in the conversation anyway although I was busy running around doing other stuff. He got D a very expensive birthday present which she didn't like so he is taking her out today to swap it. I don't mind but it just makes my presents look a little lame! I know D doesn't feel this way mainly because I get her what she asks within my budget! He did text me after he left and thanked me for the mince pie and tea, said the cake I baked for D looked great and hoped we had a fun rest of the day!
I got him little Christmas present from D which I gave him on her birthday when he was going to leave as I didn't know when we would see him next. He looked a bit hurt and said he was planning to pop over again. This time last year H asked if he could come by Christmas morning to watch D open her presents and I offered for him to have Christmas Eve dinner and stay that night which he readily accepted. This year I really don't know what I would say if he asks to come over Christmas morning again? I'm so torn between being a kind person and getting him feel the consequences if his decisions. Or am I at that stage where it really doesn't matter anymore?
I don't know. I have really struggled lately. Not necessarily because of the time of year but because I am forcing myself to stop interacting with him. I am keeping my distance even when he is around and that is really hard. I don't go running up to him to greet him anymore and this really confused him the other day because he didn't know what to do! It just doesn't feel right anymore but when he leaves he always seeks me out so he can kiss and hug me goodbye! D@mn it!
Anyway, what started off as a weekend of no invitations I now have an invite to H's friend's house for dinner. They are going to pick us up so i can have a few drinks and then Christmas Eve i am going over to my older sister's house for a takeaway. Then to one of my younger sister's house for Christmas Day!
As you know I am trying not to post too much these days although I like to keep up with how you are all doing. So I would just like to thank you all for your support and kindness. I really don't know what sort of mess I would still be in without your advice and 2x4s. You have all been such an inspiration to me, thank you so much!
I wanted to wish you all a merry Christmas, or happy holidays and wish you love, luck and happiness for 2018!
