M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Honestly, I don't know what happened. Life got so crazy, and I guess I just let this daily habit slip away.
I AM FINE. Cadence, girlfriend, my trip got ALL kinds of confused with travel dates, time, airports, connections, ferry boats, so much so that I wasn't even sure until the last day. I HATE HATE HATE that I was so close to you, and we missed the chance to meet. I would have loved nothing more.
So much has happened, and yet very little has changed on the H front. I can't even remember what was going on the last time I posted, and TBH, I don't have a chance right this second to read back and see..... but 25, when I logged on and saw your "where are you???", I realized this is exactly how I feel when my special people on here go missing. So thank you for not forgetting about me.
In the next few days, I'm going to block off some time and come on here, and try to catch up on at least a few sitches. I miss the daily talks and encouragements, and this will always be the safest place I know, probably ever.
My part time job has almost turned into full time, at least until the end of the year when I hope to get the legislature one. HOWEVER, night before last, I was driving on a delivery and a young man came straight into the side of my car, completely T-boned me on my driver's side, totaled his car, and we aren't sure yet about mine. UNBELIEVABLY both he and I walked away completely shaken to the core, but uninjured. It was an absolute miracle, and reminded me again of how short life can be, and not to waste time moaning over one lost love who probably wasn't worth it anyway.
I will have more to say on all that later, but must run and clock in. I miss you all so very much, and I will be back really soon.
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I GOT THE LEGISLATURE JOB!!! As a matter of fact, I was offered two different jobs in separate divisions. I accepted one of them today, and session begins January 8.
I've had another strong thought lately.
I feel more like the "real" me the last few weeks than I have in years. Although this little part time job is pretty mindless, I've become a team member again. I did not realize I missed that feeling until it began to come back. I isolated myself for 10 years, owning my own business and only interacting with my computer. I have found a new sense of belonging and respect from co-workers that my soul has craved, without my even knowing it.
H may have actually done me a huge favor.
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
Congratulations on your new job! You are rediscovering yourself, slowly but surely.
Yes, your h did you a favor!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Funny looking at your name, because I've thought a lot about Job in the Bible lately. I lost my fancy home, my marriage, my social status, then lately my car. Now I deliver food as my job, drive a beat up work truck (until I got the rental car yesterday after the police report showed total liability belonging to the other guy).
.... and the passage I keep remembering is Job 13:15- "though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him."
AND YET, I have felt pure, unbridled joy for the first time in so long, in the last few weeks.
Go figure.
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
Leah, happy that you are embracing all the good things about the changes you have had to endure. Once you get to that point, life seems to flow a little better. Think I got there recently too.
Dear friends who most likely saved me, at least my sanity, the entire year of 2017.....
I want to say THANK YOU, and to wish each one a very Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Whatever you celebrate this time of year/ and to say that I honestly would not be where I am tonight had I not brokenly stumbled onto this site one year ago.
My DB anniversary is coming up Dec. 26, and since about July, I have been planning to do what I'm going to call an "underground Christmas" this year. I've talked with family about it, gotten their blessings (mostly), made promises to stay safe, bought and shipped gifts, and after tomorrow, I will be putting my dog in the car, and heading out of town to a quiet place in the mountains nearby, to spend the holiday alone. I'm not exactly sure of what I want this trip to do, except help me erase the horror of last Christmas/week/New Years, so that going forward, I can begin new memories, with the one from last year fading slowly.
I plan to read, love on my dog, sleep, meditate, listen to good music, drink fine wine, and BE ALONE. To mainly think about how wonderful 2018 is going to be for me.
January will bring the new job, new routines, evidently a new car (since I found out today they will most likely total out my BMW that was involved in my wreck)- one more material loss, but gratitude gained for the lack of injury to me or anyone.
If I have decent wi-fi, I hope to catch up on everyone's stories, and meet some of the new people. But I'll have to be careful too, not to get too bogged down in the sadness of what we've all been through, and rather focus on the year ahead.
Each of you has touched my life in such deep ways, and made footprints on my heart. I pray for joy for us all in the days to come.
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
I think an underground Christmas sounds delightful. This is something that you need to do for yourself. Stay safe and enjoy Mother Nature and most importantly...have fun.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
