I feel like I am the Ghost of Christmas future in a few ways with our sitch, I will tell you what I recall feeling at the time so maybe in a way it can help you.
So looking ahead after you move out and get the D process going one would think there are levels of healing ... to a degree this is true, but before that happens the severity of it all will come at you pretty hard. The nights alone in the apartment without her and the kid(s) at first you have this sense of new and freedom, that fades then the 'this is now my life' seems to creep in. I flip flopped back and forth for some time ... excited to get my life in order and do ME things ... to wishing I was part of the family unit, the marriage the day to day.
As with anything it just takes time and you truly have to let go all control and allow her to her own course as you have a good deal of work to do just to regain your center. I can tell you I never wanted this but looking at the changes I was able to make and the life I am currently cutting out for myself I am at peace and happy ... There was a time I did not think this was possible.
