Thanks, I'm trying very much not to waste any time on him. But he still insists on messaging me every week to ask how I am. Nothing more in depth than that, and the inconsequential small talk just frustrates me. I would rather we discuss co-parenting issues or finances, something concrete. But anytime I mention anything, it’s like its occurring to him for the very first time. His instant reaction is rude and then he thinks a bit more then back tracks and changes his mind.
I thought that he might grow up a bit when the reality of the situation hit him, but does not appear to be the case. He just can’t seem to see beyond his own selfishness.
I asked for some financial help with paying for things and at first he said yes but then said he had to see. So he is clearly not going to provide any financial or non-financial assistance.
He then called me in the middle of the night last week, drunk on the way home from his work Christmas do, telling me what a bad time he had. Then staying the usual rubbish that he still loves me and can we talk. I did not engage with any of it as it is obviously just drunk nonsense, but I was annoyed at his lack of consideration for the fact that I am 6 months pregnant and don't need to be woken up in the middle of the night!
I just messaged him the next day and told him never to do that again and if he wanted to speak to me, arrange a time convenient to me. He said that he had arranged to see a counsellor in January, to discuss why he pushes away people that love him because he does not believe he deserves love. If that ‘sorry for myself’ basis is which he is seeing a counsellor, then there won’t be any changes to his awful behaviour and selfishness. In which case I would rather cut him out of everything entirely and have nothing more to do with him.
However I just feel a bit conflicted about making such a hard blunt decision and giving him the opportunity to play a role in his child’s life.
