Jim, it just doesn't sound to me like your W is down for recon. You're trying, she isn't. She's just warming a seat in MC, she's not engaged. I think her sleeping on the couch is VERY telling. She's still checked out. I think she's just biding her time until someone "better" comes along. She can't see you as the better choice.
I also think you are committing WAY too much time and energy into breaking things down (your 14 point list, man oh man!) when the bottom line is she is STILL a WAS. At this point it's best to let things float as-is through the holidays, but I agree with LH, you need to do something different after the holidays. Get out. GAL. Stop all MC immediately. Leave your W alone. I think you need a change of heart, you need to be DONE with all her BS and start doing things for YOU. That could very well snap her out of it, but even if it doesn't, it is certainly not going to make things worse.
