I agree w/Ginger concerning your wife and the work she needs to do. The OM may be out of the picture at the moment...but that doesn't mean it's over for them. She will need to go through withdrawal from that addictive euphoria she had w/him and that's hard work. She thinks that you can sweep everything under the rug and things can go back to normal...they can't until her issues are resolved and she's ready to do the hard, necessary work to rebuild her life w/you in a new marriage.
One thing...if you haven't already asked your lawyer this...be sure to ask him/her that if you have relations w/her does that create a problem, hence the clock has to be rewound for the time set for the divorce. If your lawyer says yes, then no relations w/this woman. (If you do opt to have relations, be sure to get yourself checked out because you don't know what little gifts she may have brought home that will keep on giving.)
I hope and pray that you can find a little peace this holiday and some answers will be revealed to you as to where your next chapter in your life's book will take you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
