Man, that's awful. I would recommend getting some professional counselling, too. I don't know what the hell I would be doing now if I hadn't finally gotten to the point where I can talk to somebody about it. It's nice to have a place where I can sob like a baby without be judged.
Me: Mid 40s W : Early 40s M:11 T:13 S, D, both 7-10 BD : 11/2017 Separation : 1/18