I can almost write everything you wrote in your two posts. I mean everything, verbatim. I understand exactly where you are coming from. And it's where most of my anger comes from. Also in regards to dating, I don't even trust myself anymore. I don't know that I trust others. And I did have a trust for others, but it has been worn paper thin. It's not even to cheat, it's just trust that someone won't stomp all over my heart.
Then I keep thinking about what the alternative is. I can continue to not trust myself and others and just hole up. I decided I am just going to be myself and go with the flow. And if someone doesn't like who I am , oh well.
I did used to think if I just didn't do this, or if I just didn't do that, then ex would have stayed and loved me. Then I realize some days I won't be my best me, I might be needy, or b!tchy or lazy, but I still should be loved on those days.
Please, try to enjoy your new R. He seems to have some outstanding values and morals, just as you do. Try your best to not wait for red flags. Enjoy yourself, because you most certainly deserve it.
