MLC or WAS... either way, I'm here - Part II

[LAJar]

Hi peace,

It actually went well. I just finished sending my L updated documents. I just didn't really think too much about it, but there's such a time crunch because of the holidays. It's been a couple of months since my last meeting with her, so she we reviewed his filing, then where I had left off. I'm sure she's forgotten where I stand on the D, but she started in giving me my options and it seemed fast. Almost like - ok, let's submit and/or I can call his L and let him know we're ready to negotiate. I had to stop her and ask her what was the bare minimum I needed to submit. I told her that I know we had discussed including the $50K as a gift up front. I said I am not interested in fighting it, but I would like to see what he puts on the table before I reveal what I want/am willing to give up. She said, that's what she'd recommend. I don't know if the prep. of these documents made me think this was what would be included in my response. Either way, she understands I just want to submit the minimum and he can do the heavy lifting.

Clearly, this is all new to me, but I realize how much I need to be an advocate for myself. In the past, my personality has been if someone is an authority on a subject, I try to trust their judgment. I realize if I'm not comfortable, I need to open my mouth and at least voice my opinion.

This is rough to be dealing with this 5 days before Christmas, but it's what has to be done. I won't have the finalized papers until tomorrow, but oddly enough, I'm somewhat relieved. Up until this point, feels like I've had to mostly be reactive to advoid H drowning me. Now I'm getting to choose how I respond and have it be strategic rather than reactive. None of this feels great, but a little power in my corner for this powerless situation, is a win.

On another note, FIL's bday is Friday and SIL was not feeling great about having H celebrate with her and her family. She says not only does she just want to have a peaceful time, but she doesn't want to meet OW and the same goes for Xmas. She says many of her aunts, cousins feel the same and wanted to invite H but ask him not to bring her. It goes without saying how I feel about that, but I've chosen not to reach out to even wish FIL happy bday. I don't want to know. I'm sure I'll be told, but leading up to it, I want to enjoy my weekend and not know they were celebrating like a family. I'm sure that's the nice picture of it and the reality is it will be awkward (to put it mildly), but the idea H is so comfortable taking OW to meet family, makes me want to puke. I'll be at a friend's housewarming/Xmas party with my sister enjoying myself, so at least I'll be GALing and not home.

Thanks for checking in peace. Thoughts/comments, always appreciated!