JMSTL Thread 6-Let's go for a test drive

[Jmstl]

I realize now though, something that my dad always told me. Less is more.

Or put another way, never pass up the chance to shut up. Or even STFU.

I just now paid attention to the timeline you have listed. Wow, dude, way too fast. This only all started like six months ago and you've only been D for a few months. You really have no business even getting into an R at this point. It's not fair to the other person nor to yourself. This too may have been a fear factor for her - or should have been.

Near any professional worth their salt suggests no less than 6 months and most say a year to just heal. Work on you. Take time off. The worst thing you can do is rush into a new R. Perhaps the little head in this case is thinking more than your big head and trying to save you from yourself. I may even have to say the doc was right but he should have added the rest in and explained why.

Honestly, do the best for you and pump the breaks. Just because you can get some new girl into bed does not mean you should. Don't be one of "those" guys. Give yourself some time to heal.

You are probably right, but let me be clear about something. I am not actively seeking out women for the sole purpose of sex. The majority of the times I have gone out, it has just been to have a dinner companion. I'm not one of "those" guys. Admittedly, I /did/ try to be,initially, but that just isn't me. Hence why I was okay "going slow". I wasn't seeking out a LTR with this person. It just so happened that this person was someone I decided I would be willing to entertain the idea of a LTR with.

Everyone says, "Oh, you need time to heal".
How are we defining healing though?
"Oh, you need six months to a year"
So there is an arbitrary number attached? What if I need less time to heal. What if I need more?

Others say "You are free, go explore and have fun!"

Should I just sit at home alone every night, because I am not "healed" enough?

I understand a 2x4 is coming, but these are questions that I ask /myself/