Very interesting perscpectives. This is actually new territory for me. I have never actually been truly depressed until this year. Even though I may have had every reason since I was a kid, I never was. Situation wise and genetically. I lived in survival mode for most of my life, including during my divorce. I was sad, sure, but I was just trying to survive. Maybe some how having my life together has made room for the depression to finally settle in. And how have I hated the feeling. I have been doing everything to get out of it, I haven't been letting myself sit in it, but I guess the ways I am sued to getting out of it were taken away from me and I have been lost on how to do so otherwise and have been stuck.
So, my focus in on snapping myself out of negative trains of thought, getting myself back into tip top shape (even if I am restricted and it is painful) focusing on my career and fostering some new hobbies. I am going to find a way to give myself one night a week to do something fun, in a group, for me.
Don, I have tried Eharmony and that's when I ended up with the plumber. Otherwise, I ended up with matches from a state in which a relationship ended because it was too long distance! It turns out there is no one under 50 close to me on Eharmony. Except for the plumber. And he was probably my best catch online, sadly enough. No, OLD hasn't been kind to me. I do better in person, but problem being I am rarely around single available guys. I am usually around married men, or men of inappropriate age, or no men at all! Whatever it is, if I don't at least put myself out there in some way, shape, or form, my odds are almost nothing. But I do hope to find some sort of group activity where there are other men. I just enjoy being a part of a group, really. I miss that, regardless of the men.
So, I am not letting myself ruminate in all the unfairness and impossibility anymore. I am simply not giving up!
