Then things got especially ugly...I decided, probably against good judgement, to ask her not to attend Christmas with my family.
You do see how YOU escalated this situation, right?
In my opinion, the thought wasnt bad. I tend to agree with the rest that if shes in some sort of affair with BIL, then she should absolutely not be at your xmas (or any other family thing).
But when you tack this on to the other thing about the laundry, it becomes less about your principles and the A and more about trying to hurt her. MWD writes a lot about timing. I feel like this was terrible timing. If you dont want her at xmas, then fine. But dont bring this up in a setting where you are already heated about whatever else - you already KNOW that she is going to respond poorly.
