25yearsMLC 10 Later I FILE D part 8

[25yearsmlc]

PS

H wants the divorce to be "bifurcated" so we can separate the finances and marital status so he can be single.

So he can remarry i presume. Yeah it hurts. But it angers me and I also want ONE question answered.

What's in it for me? I get freer sooner but does it cost me? Why should l let go of the leverage?

Seems schmmopie OW will want even more of the money MY kids deserve and I deserve so why would I agree to this?

But I hate looking as if I'm holding onto h.

And the idea that he'd marry the woman he basically "landed on" when he arrived and knew I would not join him,

is so stupid and so cliched I shake my head.

Good luck with the character transplant b/c otherwise, no amount of money is with it

but I'm wrong aren't I?

H has A fib and OW sees the mansion of FIL and the ranch of MIL and thinks SHE will inherit a great life style.

some of that is true. But h lost a wife would have wiped his butt every day of his life if he stroked out, he lost a loyal woman who loved him, put up with a LOT of crap and forgave a ton of things

only to ignore all of that and still criticize and never really say THANK YOU FOR STICKING BY ME WHEN I WAS A JERK


yeah, sometime we are not rewarded the way we hope to be.

OTOH, the man he is now and perhaps always was for decades (he's been selfish for a LONG time, with some breaks & a few bones tossed my way)

and no, I would not marry HIM, again. Gotta remind myself of that.

Btw,

Do I tell my kids any of this^^? They probably know


Our oldest d texted this to me and it made me realize what a fool h is

"since none of us have much money this Christmas but all we really want is time together, maybe we should save our money and put it towards a way to make time together happen. Like a trip back to see mom or somewhere in between to see a new place..."


All we ever wanted was time together. H decided only money mattered and then he kept seeking it elsewhere (far from us, often) and then he resented the alienation he created by being gone so much, and the feeling he was being used for money. (As opposed to what, quality time and deep talks?)

That became his only function when he chose to use work as his ONLY activity, with a few intense expensive hobbies of his own, which we were sometimes welcome to join him in.

He created the problems that broke our family apart. I know I played a part but I swear to you I'm not sure where, exactly. Complacency for sure. Fear of leaving, undermined self esteem

started doubting myself and now at age 58, I'm starting in a new field b/c my law degree from Texas is getting me nowhere here in DC.


I've sent out 100 resumes and the only interviews I get are from people I KNOW from high school.

I just want enough to have a home my family & grandkids can visit, and take a trip now and then.

M and I are still seeing each other but trying to keep our pasts in the past.

Prayers for a good settlement are welcome people, maybe this calendar year!!

(I think the tax bill affects payor of alimony so h may be motivated...)

And if the bifurcation of the marital status and the money make no difference, which would surprise me, I won't object.

My guess is there's major pressure to "lock this down" to make sure it appears h was RIGHT to blow up our family.

SEE??? It wasn't HIM!! It was me/us/them/other states!

If he only knew how the babysitter we used to have, actually saw him, as she told her mom, "I used to like DrH but now I think he's a jerk. Why would he post those gross pictures of him with OW? No one normal does that, not even teenagers and if I saw my old 16 y/o boyfriend do that after we just broke up, I would hate him for it and so would all my friends...."

My 25 y/o niece said "it's just so weird".


H's bff said "way over the top, looked staged...not sure why. We're so sorry."


Again, not telling kids, right? What a lovely way for them to find out though, so brave of him to have said NOT A WORD TO ME SINCE SEPARATION....

after 35 years. POS