Originally Posted By: DonH
As I was still reading your latest post Jmstl, I was thinking, well how do you define chemistry, and then you said it yourself! So help us all, and perhaps yourself as well and tell us what happened. 7 dates... Was there anything physical that happened? Did you totally make out with her? How soon in or was that #5? If not, why not? As Benito said it really is a balancing act. Taking things slow does not nessisarily mean nothing physical happens. This almost sounds like you were friend zoned. She loves hanging out with you, enjoys time, thinks you are great but just doesn't want to jump your bones. Sound about right? I'm kinda guessing here but may have some thoughts comments and advice but am not sure it would apply without knowing more. Hope you'll share.


DonH

Starting with Date 2, we started 'totally making out' But things just ended in the parking lot of wherever we drove to. I had told her that for date #5 I wanted to just watch a movie instead of going out, and she agreed. She claimed she was 'in the repair shop' that night as things started to heat up (we ended up making out for 2.5 hours) so everything was waist up. Claimed the same thing date #6.
I had warned her of possible 'issues', and she said it was probably just nerves and no judgement.

Now mind you, she told me A. that she wanted to go slow from the beginning. B, we always had this back and forth innuendo about sex.

She talked about how cute I was, and how thoughtful and respectful I am (she joked I didn't even touch her butt till the fourth date. I was trying to be a gentleman) How focused, and ambitious I seemed to be, and how she was just generally happy being around me, and that she liked me.

When she asked what we were doing date #7, I laid out a list of things. Hiking, lunch, sex?, shopping, christmas lights. She even brought this essential oil thing for 6yo D who has trouble sleeping.

She seemed totally okay with it. We held hands, we laughed, we trolled each other, we smiled. It seemed almost magical to me. So when she said she wanted to call it a night, I really thought she was just tired. there was no indication she wasn't interested.

She said she wanted to give us a fair shot and see if feelings developed. But holy hell, after 1.5 months of talking and 7 dates, I would have thought she would have figured it out sooner.

Probably TMI, but it does feel good to talk about it, I guess.


Married 9: Together 11
M:37 W:35
S:2 D:7
Bomb dropped 6/3/2017
W moved out 7/1/2017
Separation Filed: 8/1/2017
Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017
Divorced: 10/5/2017