Just a Vanilla Change 35

[Ggrass]

I kept looking in just to see how things were going.
Sad to hear of your pa, it's always too soon no matter how old they are.

[Vanilla]

Lovely to hear from my chums.

I don't have much to say except grief is a very hard road.

Zues these men were extraordinary weren't they?

Maybe one day they will say the same about us?

Sandi, my lovely GG and special Dawn it's lovely to hear from you. I will catch up.

I have stories to tell and battles still ongoing. There is life still.

Thank you Job and Ginger1.

Much love

V

[bttrfly]

so sorry V {{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

and much love xoxoxo

[Vanilla]

I woke this morning in a very achy painful way. My body is inflamed and sore.

My body is burning up and my head aches, it's not infection, it's pain and sadness filling my body. My heart is completely broken and I cry constantly.

There is so much drama and loss. I miss my aged pa, what will I do with the space I chatted to aged pa? How is it possible to heal from such hurt?

The Giggalo has told my L he will sue me if I don't give him money. Again and again abuse. He has run out of money I guess and feels entitled. Except the court order says he can be paid when the big house is sold. There is no immediate sign of it, so badgering me and trying to build up my L bills won't help.

The timing is deliberate.

I remember the G said aged pa should smother aged ma, this was in the last yearsix of her life when she had dementia and was bed ridden and yes demanding.. And I feel quite ill because of it.

I guess I haven't processed it properly as it still bothers me a great deal. I still feel this man is a risk to the life of any woman he is with.

V

[rd500]

Hi Lady V , i did email you but maybe you didn't get this so I've posted it here.

Just read about your Pa, I'm so sorry for your loss and the loss to your family. I cant imagine your pain. Its not everyone that has a figure like him in their lives but you were blessed that you did. Treasure the many memories and know that he is at peace. So sad. Xx

[Vanilla]

RD thank you so much.

My dearest Internet bruv who has walked this path and been so encouraging, my heart is broken and my soul and spirit low.

V

[rd500]

Hi Lady V, i wish i had the words but i dont think there are any that can ease you pain. I loved reading about your Pa and his larger than life attitude. On this earth there are many people who would have benefited from having a person of his calibre in their lives , you not only are one of the lucky ones because you did have him in yours but you are also part of him and possess many of his fantastic qualities.

You say your spirt is low and of course it is, your Pa is at rest physically but his spirt will always be with you. He guided you as a child and through your youth but now his ways and his character are reflected in yours. He is with you and always will be. The physical loss is so so tough but he is part of you and that is never going to leave.

I'm always just an email away or on here so don't hesitate to contact me if i can be of help or just a distraction.

I said it in my last post but please remember the great , funny and loving times you shared with Pa, you are enduring incredible loss but those memories can help.

Take care , Rd xx

[Vanilla]

High alert

The G has been driving by the big house, twice already today and it's in a cul de sac.

Time to disappear to stay with friends and alert my L. I have cameras.

V

[sandi2]

Our prayers and concerns are with you. ((V))

[Surfer]

So sorry for your loss. Grief is such a tasking feeling to deal with. But you will deal with it and you will feel happiness again of course, it’s just right now it feels like it will never end. Perhaps a nicer way to look at the horrible intensity of your feelings is to reflect on what a lovely person your aged pa was. You don’t feel intense loss and grief for those you don’t love and the depth of that grief, I think, is a reflection of your love for the person you lost. Which is a reflection also of their ‘loveliness’. You clearly had a lovely aged pa. How lucky you have been with that relationship and how lucky that you had all that time together. It is a hard road, but keep yourself busy and talk to others. Also, try and smile. You can’t be sad when you smile.

As for G. Best avoided for sure.

Surfer.