I was, unfortunately, a bit mean to her, when she said we couldn't have conflicting parenting approaches and I said we already HAD conflicting ones in that we weren't applying one at all. She said this was mainly my fault because I don't stick with the program, so why should she think this 123 magic would be any different. I then pointed out one of the things that really bugs me about how she parents our S, which was a real jerk move.
Oh yeah, you're a big meanie and a terrible husband and father - NOT.
Originally Posted By: Subitai
She definitely made the point of me doing stuff without consulting her was a huge problem with the marriage, and me doing this is 'more of the same' so it's a mess up on the 180 for sure. This morning's back off is meant to try and get back on track for that 180. It's friggin hard, though, when she's basically said she's going to be gone for a week at the beginning of Jan and wants to start the official separation by the 15th of Jan, so I don't see many weeks of parenting together left, and I want to get the kids on-line with the new rules before all hell breaks loose when we tell the kids we're divorcing.
Look, she's manipulating you. She's making you out to be the bad guy and you're the reason for the marital troubles and her problems as well.
An anecdote: I'd had a female roommate for a couple of semesters when I was in college and it was a big deal to her if I left the toilet seat up. So, I was trained to always put the toilet seat down. While I was married, I used to always make sure I put the toilet seat down. After our marital troubles started (there was an OM), apparently I forgot to put the toilet seat down one time. According to my wife, that was enough to prove that I didn't respect her. Huh? I told her that I didn't even realize I'd forgotten to put the toilet seat down. She told me that it was because in my subconscious I didn't respect her. Holy sh*t!
Anyway, that's just an example of how the game is played. You're a bad guy and everything you do or say just reinforces that fact. You're d@mned if you do and d@mned if you don't.
