I've realised you are from the same country as me.
I've been away for 16 years now so have become more 'ang moh'ed' but I still will do my best to give you any help as someone who understands the culture from where you are.
First of all, anything Joejoe says, just do. He's managed to turn his sitch around, which is a ringing endorsement and I think has a fantastic handle on loving detachment, which I still can't get right after a solid year on the boards.
Second, treat this as a golden window of opportunity. I realise now, looking back, that my WH was confused for a couple of months. I DB'ed for some of it, but when I experienced BD3 I lost it and lashed out, which tipped him over the edge. This is a very delicate time. No one can promise you an outcome but at least if the worst should happen you can look back knowing you did everything right, which will give you peace. I don't have that peace.
Be your best self, and don't stress her out with talk about the A or your R. Let her come to you. Don't be cold while you're GAL, which I struggled with. Define what it means to be your best self - break it down. It doesn't mean being a doormat for her - it means being a healthy, loving, firm man who respects himself and the others round him. All women want a man they can respect - but not fear. This is an opportunity not only for your R, but for you yourself.
