when i said she is maintaining, i meant that she is maintaining you... maintaining her relationship with you... there is no real progress... even if it seems like there may be some movement forward, in my opinion, there isn't... she likes hanging out with you, it's fun... she's "trying." all non-committal... but enough to maintain things with you...
she is not coming to bed... she has "reasons,"--really, she has excuses... that is actually a step backward, imo...
you mentioned some different behavior in the last few weeks--excuses to not go to church, or to go alone... not taking communion.. but when Holding questions you about her avoiding communion, because he sees it as something telling, you back pedal and kind of brush it off as though it really isn't that big of a deal, it really isn't something new... you do this a lot...
church, sleeping on the couch, the bracelet and earrings on the day she went to meet friend--i see those as signs of the affair continuing...
her touching you--temp check... and one more way to help her maintain things with you... i hope i am wrong... but i don't think that i am...
i do think you should follow through with this: I just gotta say "look, this isn't headed in the direction I want to go or towards the kind of relationship I need to have with you. I am attracted to you and I am not going to live in a sexless, low-to-no-intimacy marriage. If you cant commit to working towards that kind of relationship, and if you cant get into counseling for yourself and for your own issues as our MC has advised, I'm going to have to step back from the MC and the "working on the MR" effort."
you need to do it because it's honest... that is how you honestly feel and what you honestly believe... she ought to know that... otherwise, you two are simply maintaining... and you're not maintaining a nice healthy marriage, you are maintaining limbo...
