I think she is so unhealthy right now; and possibly MLC'ing???
Would her behavior somehow make more sense, to know she's having a MLC at 28? Would it change your plan of action......and if so, how or what would you change?
Well, you aren't alone. There have been many H's who have come to the same conclusion. I even posted the question why they preferred their W's to have MLC rather than accepting that she was wayward. The short answer boils down to how it makes the LBH feel, to know his W really is wayward. So, it leads me to think some men do look at MLC as an excuse for their W's crazy behavior. And, I think some H's see it being an excuse for them to somehow just kind of roll with it, instead of using tough love. But that's just my opinion, and it certainly doesn't apply to all the LBH's.
A MLC can last for many years, as well as waywardness. Waywardness is a lifetime behavior pattern for some women. However, the positive side (if there is one), is that under the right circumstances......waywardness can change almost overnight.
Chris, the more I read about your W, the more I am convinced a lot of this behavior in her is nothing new. In other words, I suspect she has been manipulative and disrespectful during most of the M. But when she brought a third person into the M, her usual bad behavior was magnified by the affair. That's not to say she cannot change. I have known people who made radical behavior changes for the better. In most cases, it came at a rather high price.......and the longer they were wayward without any personal consequences, the longer and harder it was to change.
Waywardness comes from the heart, and makes the heart become hardened. Therefore, the heart will need to experience remorse, forgiveness, acceptance, willingness, compassion and honor (to name just a few) in order to soften it. When a WW's hard heart has not really changed, she can fake it only for so long. Eventually, her attitude and actions will show the true condition of her heart. That's one reason I caution H's about letting the WW come back too easily.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
