Cherry. Getting on with a few bumps

[Cherry]

Thank you Nicole. Although I’m most certainly not on the look out, i went out for a meal with some colleagues and into the city the other night- and although my confidence isn’t there mentally. I faked it and held my head up, and was surprised at how much attention i did have. Yes it makes me feel a fair bit better, but a part of me also wanted to smack wh in the head and ask him how everyone else sees it but not him.

Have they got you on any medication that can help? I’ve a few conditions myself (long term side effects from cancer as a late teenager) so i know totally how exhausting life can get. If you need to sleep though, that’s therapy in itself, your body needs it. Are you able to get any childcare for your daughter? Even for a few hours a day just to give you a hour or so rest bite? My s has started nursery school which helps as then I’ve just baby for a few hours a day.

As for finding the time and energy, i can be so stubborn at times, and what drives me is my want to not crumble. Nothing would give my ex the satisfaction more of knowing he’s turned me into some kind of recluse who has thrown away her aspirations and become the opposite of what she was. So i intend to thrive and show him i could do this before him, i can sure as hell do it after him.


I saw the ex at the weekend. I braced myself for a showdown based upon the last time i saw him. But it wasn’t that. I made sure before he got there that i had my make up on, i was dressed good, smelling good- for my own confidence. Once I’d done that i felt as though i was ready to face the world. He looked miserable, i was happy looking as if he hadn’t bothered me. I asked him how he was, he started to tell me about something that had happened and how it made him feel sad. I gave friendly advise as if i was talking to a friend/neighbour. He hugged me, his hands began to wander and i cut him loose there and said given that he had a girlfriend, i didn’t feel comfortable doing that. I walked away and made myself busy and left that right there.

I don’t know if this was the way to play it. Or why i would be the one he finds comfort in. But i needed to get it out there to him that he well and truly fired me from being that person.