.....and ever and ever and ever

[DonH]

For sure Ginger you get an A+ on how you ended things with regard to your actions to FF and any of his family or friends. You struggled amd still do on the inside but your outward reactions from everything I can tell have been stellar. That means that the rest is about them. I don't think FF "hates" you but whatever is going on with him is ABOUT HIM! It has zero to do with you. In fact the whole thing had less to do with you and more about him. That really is often the case with people and Rs.

For sure DB has really helped with stopping pursuit and with dealing with breakups with dignity. The knee jerk reaction to be upset, perhaps plead, chase, and beg is replaced with calm, rational thoughts and comments. It didn't save our Ms but has helped in other ways.

Your comment about savings - especially for the long term caught my attention as this area is one where I really shine both in business and in life. When commenting about me, even people who may not like me say how great I am with finances. Not trying to brag, just to get you to hopefully trust me here. The very best thing you can possibly do is start to put some money away on a regular basis. You really CAN do it and you won't miss a small amount. The key here is to start now. Really the key was to start 15 years ago but now is all we have. You might be amazed at how this will grow. I was fortunate enough to start at 23. IRAs were somewhat new and I was allowed to put $2,000 in each year when it started. So now 30 years later, that $2,000 has become over $30,000. By the time I start using it, it will be at least 60,000 and could be $120,000 - all from a $2,000 initial investment!!! It's all based on time and reinvesting any dividends that come from it. It really does work. Nearly everyone can afford $20/week. Would you really miss $20 a week? Really? Skip coffee twice and fast food lunch once and you have it. Some can do $50/week and others $100. At least do something! You will be sooooooooooooo happy when you turn 60 and have $100,000 waiting for you (based on $20/week). I can tell you more off line if you're interested - including where to invest ---- no load mutual funds with index funds being top of the list. ---- Give it some thought. Actually everyone reading this should.